Intoleraception -The Right to be Offended

Ah, my country. My beloved India… I feel so disappointed writing this post coz, once again, we have shown the impatience and (dare I say this too early) intolerance to someone hinting at the possibility that India may be imperfect.

I say, “we” as I represent India and our society in another country every day and sometimes have to explain to baffled non-Indians why some of these things happen. And before you say it, yes, I do have a right to speak and call out my country’s flaws even though I don’t live there.

Some background on the core issue: celebrated actor, Aamir Khan in a recent interview spoke of how he has begun to feel more insecure in India, and so much so that he and his wife, Kiran even discussed moving to another country.

Even if you’re aware of this, I urge you to watch the video. It’s just 15 minutes.

And there we go… Everyone is offended and social media launches its usual vile attack on its latest victim. In addition to the passive-aggressive personal attacks, some people even suggest countries for him and his family to take (Pakistan, anyone?). I’m pretty sure a majority of us haven’t seen the full video before reacting.

Let’s just call a spade a spade and for starters, admit that a good majority of the Indian population didn’t like what he said. The media outrage proved that. But my concern is not the how, but the why and what of the reaction.

We couldn’t tolerate someone saying that there is a growing sense of intolerance in the society when the fact of the matter is that it’s true! I’ve said this in a previous post and I’ll say it again: The first step in solving a problem is recognizing that there is one!

Case in point 1: The attack and murder of Mohammad Akhlaq by a Hindu mob in Dadri on the night of September 28th, 2015 following “rumors” (yes, RUMORS) that his family has killed and consumed beef on the occasion of Eid. Firstly, a Muslim man eating beef on Eid is part of their religion and should not a problem if he’s not shoving it down a Hindu’s throat against his will. Secondly, the man was flogged to death in front of his family coz Hindus didn’t like the RUMORS about him.

Case in point 2: Nagaland man seized from prison and beaten to death by 22 men coz he was “accused” (yes, ACCUSED) of rape.

Case in point 3: A Madhya Pradesh woman beaten with lathis, stripped and forced to drink urine over a land dispute.

You may say these are extreme cases, but, you can’t disagree that it doesn’t take much for people to take offense and launch communal violence in India.

We ban a comedy show (AIB Roast) coz it has foul language and insults the people who VOLUNTARILY PARTICIPATED IN IT. We ban the consumption of beef in a secular country coz the Hindus don’t like it. We ban a Pakistani singer’s (Ghulam Ali) concert in Mumbai coz he’s a Pakistani and a Muslim. We blacken the face of an Indian on the day he would attend the book-launch of a Pakistani.

If you’re still not convinced, read the first few links on this Google Search for “communal violence in India”.

You may even say that it’s part of the uneducated society, but here’s what some of our prominent film industry personnel had to say to Aamir Khan after his comments:

Dear @aamir_khan. Did you ask Kiran which country would she like to move out to? Did you tell her that this country has made you AAMIR KHAN.

— Anupam Kher (@AnupamPkher) November 23, 2015

Yes and No, Anupam Uncle… Aamir Khan made himself with the support of our country and appreciation for his creative talents. But how is that related to him feeling that we’re intolerant? Can a man not call out his concerns over the flaws of his own country? Grow up, Sir.

In a predominantly Hindu country,if 3 Muslims can become the biggest iconic super stars that itself proves the majority aren’t intolerant

— Ram Gopal Varma (@RGVzoomin) November 24, 2015

Firstly, RGV, my dear man, India is NOT A HINDU COUNTRY. We are a secular country who shouldn’t feel proud JUST BECAUSE a few Muslim guys became movie stars. (Also, you only need to look at the number of people who watch your movies all the way through to judge tolerance levels.)

Intolerance !PK did rattle the belief of Hindus but Aamir dint face the wrath of Hindu or THE MAJORITY n but was super hit n made crores !

— Paresh Rawal (@SirPareshRawal) November 23, 2015

Mr. Paresh Rawal, FYI, almost every Hindu group in the country protested this movie and it was even banned in some states and cities. And you call us tolerant coz Aamir Khan “didn’t face the WRATH of the Hindus”?

The comment below was later denied by Tasleema Nasreen as being her’s, which means that we needed to put another artists face on a false statement to prove a no-point.

Whoever made and shared this post, do you really want to go by Pakistan’s and Bangladesh’s standard of law and justice to prove your point?

In a Facebook post discussion on this issue this morning, a friend threw this point at me (some typos from the original comment have been corrected):

do you feel secure in the US? Do you think Racism exists there? Do you think it is tolerant? I’m not comparing.. Just asking because you’ve been living there for quite some time now!
I know of an American school kid who was thought to be a terrorist because of his religion.I get a feeling that US is turning into an intolerant society. Do you think people of that community feel secure about raising their children in that country?
Do you think UK is tolerant? I heard Racism is far more rampant there.. do You think one can feel safe to raise kids there?
Well.. maybe after this discussion, we could suggest Amir Khan some countries, he can consider moving out to!

My response:

Correction: the kid in the US was not thought to be a terrorist coz of his religion. He was taken in for questioning coz he brought a device in class that looked like a bomb and claimed it was a clock. He was released after questioning but could never prove that it was a clock. The point is: precautions were taken, it was resolved. Nobody got offended. Nobody got publicly lynched and murdered.

There is some racism in both the UK and US. When it’s reported, a proper trial takes places and justice is served. Is the system perfect? No. But does anyone tolerate racism and/or publicly announce an accused person’s guilt and kill him in a gruesome delivery of mob justice? No.

More to the point, Aamir Khan never spoke of any other country’s imperfections or lack thereof. How does that make Aamir Khan a “hypocrite” (as the friend called him)?

It’s a matter of convenience that we choose comparisons to the US when it comes to looking at the flaws in our countries but outright reject WESTERNIZATION in the name of our so-called culture and traditions when it comes to civil liberties, creative freedom and government. (Double standards, much?)

Let’s conclude by summarizing 2 key aspects of this issue:

1: What Aamir Khan Said 

• Protests are a form of expression, as long as laws aren’t broken in the process
• There can be acts of violence anywhere in the world
• There needs to be a sense of justice and security
• It doesn’t matter which party runs the government
• He and his wife are concerned for their children and the “growing atmosphere of intolerance” in the society. She even mentioned once that she may want to leave the country
• A terrorist has no religion

2: What Aamir Khan Didn’t Say

• NO, it wasn’t a publicity stunt on Aamir Khan’s part.
• NO, he didn’t say he wants to leave the country.
• NO, he didn’t say that every Indian is intolerant.
• NO, he didn’t say India is the only intolerant country.
• NO, he didn’t say India has no justice system.
• And, NO, he DID NOT SAY THAT EVERY OTHER COUNTRY IN THE WORLD IS PERFECT.

Let’s just calm down, ponder upon what he meant by the persistent levels of intolerance and violence in our country, acknowledge that it is an issue and educate the people on how we can work our way to a better and safer tomorrow.

Jai Hind!

 

Tryst With Democracy – Happy Valentine’s Day

Long years ago we made a tryst with destiny, and now the time comes when we shall redeem our pledge, not wholly or in full measure, but very substantially. At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the world sleeps, India will awake to life and freedom.

These were the famous first words spoken by Jawaharlal Nehru on Aug 14, 1947… The first ever speech by a Prime Minister of Independent India. A speech that would later find its place among the best speeches of the 20th Century, and rightly so. It was inspiring. Each word was so carefully chosen, relevant and had a hard-hitting purpose to it. Every time I read it, I get small goosebumps.

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines ‘tryst’ as an agreement (as between lovers) to meet at an appointed time or meeting place… In essence, a planned date. I truly believe that Nehru made a conscious decision with that word. The romanticization of destiny and freedom could not have been more poetic than on the occasion of India’s freedom after decades of struggle.

He then sat down to write The Constitution of India, which after several amendments, provides us the Freedom of Speech with reasonable restrictions.

And therein lies the rub. Our false sense of freedom gives us a right to speak, do or express our views and feelings as long as we’re sure we don’t offend a broad spectrum of people. A country of a billion with a billion opinions. We think we are left at the mercy of the powerful (and mostly uneducated) people in administrative positions of responsibility to exercise their version of reasonable to make decisions. Or are we?

It’s been an interesting few months for India.

All India Bakchod, possibly the most successful group of comedians in India came together with some of the biggest stars of Bollywood to participate in India’s very first Roast (#AIBRoast). They uploaded a highly edited version of it (believe me when I say that. I was there for the live show) on YouTube. While a majority of the viewers were thoroughly entertained, a fraction of them weren’t. This is India… So as usual, we had people getting offended and making a fuss about it, calling for bans and legal action since it really wasn’t akin to their taste in humor… and also, Would you take your mother and sister to watch this?

So much that Indian Censor Board member, Ashoke Pandit, tweeted this about Karan Johar for an ‘Anal Sex’ joke he cracked on himself during the show. Karan of course, classy as ever in his response.

Of course it’s alright when women and sex are objectified for humor and entertainment in Music and Cinema. We have movies like Grand Masti and Delhi Belly and songs like Baby Doll, Chikni Chameli (and every Yo Yo Honey Singh song ever) that can pass all censorships and what not, but when consenting comedians and film-stars do it to each other for the sake of comedy and charity, it’s public obscenity and ruining the clean image of the Indian culture & women.

The video was soon taken down under pressure and as of this date, FIRs have been filed against AIB, Karan Johar and some other actors who were a part of it…

Reasonable restriction on Freedom of Expression.

Arvind Kejriwal became possibly the most hated man in India early last year. His party swept aside in the National elections after he lost the faith of the country to his resignation and the Modi wave. Today, he will be (or has been) sworn in again as the Chief Minister of Delhi after a mandate that puts words like ‘landslide’ and ‘unprecedented’ to shame… 67/70 seats.

Why BJP lost is not for us to decide… Was it their lack of a clear manifesto, Kiran Bedi, perceived inaction from Modi at the Center or maybe all of it combined? Fact remains, BJPs complacent efforts in Delhi had been directed towards setting all the big guns out to attack Kejriwal and the Aam Aadmi Party instead of showing Delhi why they should be elected.

New Delhi wanted a government to be run by a man who had a clear plan of action for almost all of their real problems. Of The People. By The People. For The People.

Even in the times of Modi waves and sensationally biased media, Democracy wins.

Valentine’s Day is here! A few years ago, couples in India used to think of excuses and lies to tell their parents about V-day dates (Mine was: no, Mom. I’m in college). Nowadays we have a new problem… Some Hindu groups, primarly The Hindu Mahasabha  have threatened to marry off couples if they see them on the streets doing PDA, holding hands, or even roses and teddy bears. Curiously, most of them seem to have the support of staunch Hindu babas, pundits and thousands of their disciples who have nothing better to do in life.

What’s more worrisome is that the cops will not bother intervening coz it’s an issue with a religious group. The government obviously won’t hurt anyone remotely trying to defend Hindu sentiments and culture and all that sort of thing coz that’s where their vote bank lies. They’ll just be busy defending rapists as little boys who made a mistake or watching porn in the assembly while innocent couples spend their day worrying about getting caught, bullied by religious extremists and married off instead of spending time with their loved ones.

From the President’s son calling Delhi rape victim, Nirbhaya’s protestors Dainted-Painted women to current PM Narendra Modi calling Sunanda Pushkar a 50-crore girlfriend and his former stooge and God Man, Baba Ramdev guaranteeing that he has a cure for homosexuality, here’s a list of things these powerful men of India have said about social issues merely by exercising their right to freedom of speech and expression with reasonable restriction (or lack, thereof): Credits to The Times of India and DNA.

You see, the point here is the subjective interpretation of reason coupled with an imbalance in power. A group of comedians cannot participate in a form of comedy that is meant to consensually insult and tear people’s reputation apart coz a guy in the censor board thought that’s only meant for A rated movies, not for comedy. A man can ogle and lech at women all over the country without any fear but a couple can’t spend a peaceful day in the city without being threatened. But the people with power and political connections can say all sorts of things about other religions, customs, countries and women.

Double standards, anyone?

If only they found the countless rapes, moral policing and corruption as offensive as they find Valentine’s Day, the movie PK and the AIB Roast, India would be a better place.

It all comes down to education and a will to open minds to the true freedom of expression and freedom from imposed opinions due to fear of powerful barbarians… and also to respect that everyone has a right to express themselves and their opinions, even if a majority of the population may disagree. The people of Delhi just proved that democracy is still alive… that even though we have to fight hard for it, these powers are ultimately at our mercy, and not the other way round. We have made our tryst with democracy… The time is now close for us to redeem our pledge.

To close, I leave you with the last few lines of the very speech with which I started this piece.

We are citizens of a great country, on the verge of bold advance, and we have to live up to that high standard. All of us, to whatever religion we may belong, are equally the children of India with equal rights, privileges and obligations. We cannot encourage communalism or narrow-mindedness, for no nation can be great whose people are narrow in thought or in action.

To the nations and people of the world we send greetings and pledge ourselves to cooperate with them in furthering peace, freedom and democracy.

And to India, our much-loved motherland, the ancient, the eternal and the ever-new, we pay our reverent homage and we bind ourselves afresh to her service.

Jai Hind.

Rape Me – India vs. USA

Just this morning, I had a conversation with an old college mate [Let’s just call him/her ‘Friend XYZ’] around a couple of social experiment videos. Y’know… The lady all dressed up walking on the streets of her city checking if guys verbally molest her or not… Yeah, that one.

For everyone living under the rocks, here are the 2 videos that we were talking about:

• The Manhattan Video [Oct 28, 2014], and in response,
• The Mumbai Video [Nov 10, 2014]

A bit of context: the reference to this discussion was another conversation we had with our friends back in college about how different women were treated in India and the US. Stuff about gender equality, women’s rights and so on… back then, I maintained a stand that developed countries like the US, Australia and those in Europe were far ahead of India in these matters, albeit weren’t free of crimes against women and their rights. Not sure everyone liked what I said, neither did Friend XYZ but, in all fairness, it was a very good and serious discussion among our friends. I was tagged on The Manhattan Video a few weeks ago to see that I may have been wrong… probably not with any malicious intent, but to prove me wrong.

The initial reaction to the Manhattan video was mixed. At least, it was here, in the US, where some people argued that a few of the calls like “Have a good evening” and “How are you this morning?” weren’t as much as catcalls as they were general street courtesies. But, there’s no denying that the rest of the video blew the cover on the unacceptable street harassment showcased by ‘The Greatest City in The World’.

I maintained my stand… To quote my reply:

I still maintain that US treats its women better than India does. Be it the people, government or law enforcers.

Which is not to attack India for the sake of it or to imply that US is perfect or that this video is a lie, but, India is still too far behind the ladder of gender equality to defend itself in this day and age… Plus, this is video is from Manhattan, officially the rudest city in the US. We could do the same social experiment in many other cities and I guarantee you results far different from this.

The reply 2 weeks later was a cheeky taunt along with the Mumbai video which went viral on my Facebook news feed too, with more than 5 people sharing it on the first day captioned with clichés like ‘Respect’ and the ‘Spirit of Mumbai’ and a Mumbaikar‘s general sense of pride in the city.

Yes, it was so nice to see the young lady in a tee and short skirt walking through some of the crowded places of Mumbai and not even being ogled at, let alone cat-called or harassed in public. Everyone is happy, proud and goes back to minding their own businesses with their head held high…

What a laugh! I’m sure most other streets, suburbs, and even train travelers would paint a different picture. And the streets are still not completely safe for girls to travel alone at night.

I’ve paraphrased and expanded my reply in the interest of protecting Friend XYZ’s information. I’m not writing this to show him/her down, but I just want to get my point across:

To understand my perspective, you need to have lived around both cultures. In most cities in the US, it’s perfectly acceptable to walk up to a random girl in broad daylight to start a conversation by paying them a compliment about their clothes or looks. That’s part of how their dating culture works. Don’t get me wrong. There’s still every chance of getting shot down unless you’re Robert Downey Jr. in a Lamborghini… But you can’t do that anywhere in India except for at decent bars and clubs, that too, only in metros or you’ll get slapped or get called a ‘tharki‘ for trying to hit on the next girl you see. You simply cannot look at the girl beside you in the bus and tell her she’s really pretty and that her jacket looks nice on her without looking like a creep.

Plus, a few of the lines in the Manhattan video were general conversation starters which are actually acceptable in the US but would earn the tharki slap anywhere in India. Having said that, nobody will walk up to a girl in the broad daylight and crowd of Dadar/Kurla/Andheri Stations and Bandra Bandstand or even downtown Manhattan to molest or rape her. Even they aren’t that stupid. Exceptions exist in all societies but, this video proves nothing.

My point on gender equality and treatment of the fairer sex goes far beyond a couple of videos taken completely out of context, setting and understanding of different cultures (which, also, essentially highlights the root cause of many problems dealing with progression and backward movements against the so-called ‘westernization’ in India). There’s a gulf of difference in the way the two masses of population look at a girl child, the way their societies treat its rape victims and what they and their leaders consider the solution to rape and molestation (don’t let women wear short clothes vs. mass appeal for ethics and sex educations).

The Mumbai video showed a girl walking around some of the most crowded places in the city where no molester would dare make a move. If someone did try to molest a girl in public (or even appeared to have done), he would probably have been cornered by the crowd, publicly thrashed in another exhibition of the frightfully unlawful citizen justice that we’re so used to seeing, our innumerable stupid leaders would come out with ridiculous statements like “why was the girl wearing jeans?” and “who asked her to travel alone?“, which we’ll protest by having silent marches and candle-light vigils at Gateway of India, Jantar Mantar and College Street, Arnab will find another topic to shout at random people on his primetime News debate, people will get back to work/school next morning while the victim and her family get hounded by the media and shunned by the society and we’ll never get to the crux of the issue anyway: finding the real solution.

Crime against women is still a prevalent society issue that will eventually fade away like racism and women’s rights, but, not unless we do something about it. There is always one solitary solution to all problems in the society: Education!

I’ll say this again: no country is perfect. There are rapes the US and Europe as there are in India. There are people who beat up their wives, molest children and treat women like objects. But these countries have been proactive in fighting these crimes. Crimes against women have gone down by over 64% over the last 2 decades in the US, while the same number continues to grow at a rapid rate in India, not to mention a meagre 2% conviction rate and more than 85% still awaiting trial.

Obviously, I still maintain that India has a very long way to go to compare to other countries… ’cause identifying the problem and implementing a solution it is a much more complicated ball game in India than it is in the US and other developed nations. It won’t happen unless there’s a radical change in the thought process of the masses… Not unless people change their perspectives and not while we still have self-proclaimed moral police trying to prove that the problem with rape is the girl in ‘inappropriate attire’ and not the guy who targeted her with his perverted thoughts and unclipped wings… Not while we have a Union Cabinet minister saying that sex education should be banned because it’s vulgar and against ‘Indian Values’. We have educated urban citizens who already see sense, but that’s a very disappointing minority.

The first step in solving any problem is recognizing there is one.

And our heartfelt rejoice in the Mumbai video (and maybe to some extent, the video itself) proved once again, that we are ever ready to accept that we are better than others without any second thoughts. We’ll even attack someone who tries to correct or change us from behind the veil of culture and tradition: Coz Mera Bharat Mahan and who the fuck are you to tell me otherwise, eh?! We’re too bound by blind faith (yes, I blame religion, too) to be able to think rationally and identify these issues even if they stare us straight in the face.

As much as I disagree with some of the things our idolatrous new Prime Minister Narendra Modi says or does, nobody can deny that he has the whole country behind him. He has successfully channelled the thoughts and prayers of an inconceivable majority in his quest to save India. I hope he recognizes that among other things, one of the most crucial elements that define a country’s success is the way the people treat their women. He knows the power of his words on the people of India… I just hope he uses it like he did with the Swachh Bharat Abhiyan (Clean India Campaign) to make people question their outlook on this and many other issues in our society… coz at this moment, he’s the only one who can control what the whole country thinks and inspire change.

That, along with setting up stricter laws to deal with rapists, people who speak bullshit about women’s role in rape and a transformation in the education system to blend ethics, morals and sex education along with the academic content to raise the next generation not only as learned, educated people, but also respectful ones.

Then, maybe a generation later, mera bharat will be mahaan. We’re just not there yet… But we will be.

Jai Hind!

Maria Sharapova and the Unknown God of Cricket

Tennis Ace (and Russian Beauty) Maria Sharapova in a recent interview said that she had never heard of Sachin Tendulkar.

Sachin Tendulkar is India’s Cricket God and a global Ambassador for the sport. He’s broken almost every batting record in the cricket books and his career record is safe with him for at least the next 25 years. He was recently invited to the Royal Box as a Special Guest at Wimbledon.

The flat admittance from the former Wimbledon Champion has caused some sort of uproar in India coz apparently not knowing who Sachin Tendulkar is amounts to disrespect and insult of a man who is not only worshiped in India, but also held in the highest regard in the cricket-loving nations.

And then begin the comparisons… Sachin has 4.4m followers on Twitter. Sharapova has 1.1m… She even has 7 million less likes than Sachin on her Facebook page. (Awww 😦 ) 😐 … Loads of angry Facebook statuses and tweets accusing her of being arrogant and ignorant of the greatest cricketer of all time (which he undoubtedly is) and jibes of her popularity being less than Sachin’s. (Who is Maria Sharapova???) 

This particular image on the left aimed at showing how Sachin touched the ground with his hands to show respect to the pitch that gave him everything he has in life as compared to Sharapova who put the feet on the net of the tennis court. I don’t understand why it’s so difficult for people to get that different people and countries have different cultures and touching feet amounts to no disrespect whatsoever in most cultures, but it does in India. What a juvenile and uncalled for attempt to malign her impression on the Indian audience!!

Dear India and specifically you cricket-frenzied maniacs (and I speak directly to those multitudes of people who took offense at what she said, and not those who just had a sporting laugh at it),

I don’t have anything against you or Sachin. But I just wanna tell you to chill out and SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! Maria Sharapova is a World No. 5 Tennis player from Russia. Here’s why that’s where the argument ends.

• Russia got recognized as a cricket nation by the ICC in 2012. They know as much about cricket as most of you guys are pretending to know about Football on Social Media during this World Cup which, frankly, is quite embarrassing.
• Sharapova has been playing Tennis since she was 2 years old. Tennis has been her world ever since. Forget knowing, I don’t even think she’s concerned about Sachin and his records.
• Lastly, she just said she doesn’t know who he is. She didn’t mean any disrespect to Sachin, cricket, India or your religion. Grow up!

Such serious reactions do nothing but project an irrational and hooligan image of our country and its people. Like Russia, countries like USA, Mexico, Portugal, Philippines, Brazil, France, Italy and many more don’t follow cricket. They have their own passions, own heroes and we aren’t criminals for not knowing them. I’m sure they don’t care that you don’t know who Eusebio, Honus Wagner, Luis Figo, Romario or Reggie White are. All these people are Legends of their own leagues and it’s perfectly OK for you to not know (or care) who they are.

It’s right and important to stand by Sachin and all famous Indians who have done us proud. Yes, we worship Sachin for his contribution to World Cricket. Most of us feel blessed and honored to have lived in a generation that watched him Grace the cricket field and every young batsman at any level of cricket in the world aspires to emulate him and will be lucky to achieve half of what he has…

But let’s not slate everyone who doesn’t know him or think of him as fondly as we do. There are plenty more out there like that. It’s the same hate-mentality and myopic outlook which does no good to anyone anywhere. It just causes so many more serious issues and problems.

Learn to accept people and appreciate them for what they know, what they are and what they’ve achieved. Coz the World is full of beautiful people. You just need to open your eyes and see it.

Cheers.

The Closed Closet – Gay Pride

Here’s my problem with the whole Gay Pride and LGBT Rights issue… Well, it’s the fact that there shouldn’t be one.

If you’re a homophobic purist who opposes LGBT rights, you may want to open your minds up a bit when you read this… Let’s make this simple exercise. I’ll enumerate a list of most heard arguments against gay rights and then I’ll just place my comments on them.

• It’s against my respective Religion and a threat to it
  No, I don’t claim to have read every holy book from cover to cover, but, I’ve read and heard enough from those who have.
  Hinduism encourages all humans to attain ‘moksh‘ (Inner Peace and Freedom for the Soul), and this can be done by realizing and embracing one’s true nature. More to the fact that homosexual behaviour was not only discussed, but, also discussed in ancient Hindu scriptures and sculptures.
  Exhibit A: Khajuraho.
  Christianity, according the Bible actually mentions a few sentences like ‘You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination‘ which have always been interpreted as a clear ban on any homosexual activities, but, some interpreters believe that there is no line in The Bible that explicitly acknowledges homosexuality, let alone oppose it.
  I’ve said this before and I’m saying it again: Blind faith in Religion is the biggest hindrance in any society’s progress.
• It’s not natural for a man to sleep with a man, or woman with a woman
  Correction: it is natural. Gays are born that way. Genetic research has shown that at least 45% of heterosexual females have been physically attracted to other women at one point in time in their lives. Oh.. and just FYI. Only 10% of the whole World’s population is left-handed. (Yep. 10%. How unnatural must that be!) Sorry about the clichéd ‘Science vs. Religion’ angle, but, Science wins (again).
• Denying the child a father or a mother makes the growth environment unnatural and harmful
  There is no evidence to suggest that having two moms or two dads affects the psychology of the child in any way. American Psychological researchers have endorsed legalization of gay marriage.
• Lack of procreation is a threat to the survival of mankind
  I’m sorry, but, gay couples aren’t stopping the straight ones from reproducing, are they? Mind your own bedrooms.
• Marriage is the union of a Man and Woman
  Correct. Which is why the move to ‘legalize‘ gay marriage.

Here’s some other reasons that deserve more of a sarcastic snap than a logical answer:

• It will encourage straight people to become gay
  Erm… how?? Genetic mutation? Psychology?
• There will be a lot of discrimination
  Yeah, it’ll be the end of fair and civilized society as we know it.
• Immoral
  Correction: Anything that hurts a fellow human being is immoral.
  Exhibit B: Racism: Immoral.
• We should teach those drifted souls and minds to cure them into being straight and train them against the immoral wrongness and sins of homosexuality (Damn, I couldn’t wait to write this one)
  <rant>
  OK, firstly, the LGBT community doesn’t have a disease that you speak of curing them. They are perfectly normal human beings, probably with a bigger heart than the rest of us.

  Second, OK no, we’ve already covered the immorality and religion points. Next.

  Third, and again, these people didn’t choose to be gay. They were born this way.

  They didn’t just smoke-up one day and suddenly say: Hey… Here’s an idea!!! Let’s stop being attracted to the opposite sex. Let’s love each other instead. That way we’ll get discriminated, hated and looked down upon so much that we may have to fight for our basic rights. We might not even get support from our parents and get kicked out of the house! Sounds like fun, eh? Haha… Ha. Hahaha… Ha.. ZZzzzz!

  They didn’t choose this life. It was given to them and they have embraced it. It would be most human of us to accept them for who they are and treat them equally. Even special treatment and being extra nice is a form of discrimination. Let them come out of their proverbial closets free from the fear of being treated any differently than anyone of us.

The LGBT community is not robbing us of our rights. They don’t wanna hurt us. They just want to be accepted for who they are: Normal Human Beings. It’s important to know where to draw the line… To not interfere with how people live their lives, as long as they don’t interfere with our’s.

Love and Let Love. Live and Let Live.

Peace.

</rant>

Come India, Let’s All Hate Arvind Kejriwal

Funny country, ours is. We love to hate. We are so fed up of our own miserable problems and pathetic administration that we just need a media-created effigy to direct our hatred and burn. Beyond logic. Beyond rationale. Beyond the levels of tolerance and sophistication that one can expect from a country that boasts itself as the world’s largest democracy.

Aam Aadmi Party (AAP) leader Arvind Kejriwal humbled in the recent national elections. Just four members from his party got into parliament and Kejriwal himself lost by a mammoth 337,000 votes at Varanasi to the next PM of India, Narendra Modi. Honestly speaking, it was a stupid move by AK to challenge Modi at Varanasi. He could’ve contested from his home constituency, won his seat in parliament and actually made a difference from inside over the next 5 years. Isn’t that why he split from Anna Hazare in the first place??

The hate for AK started earlier this year when he resigned as CM of Delhi within 49 days of being voted the majority government. Yes, he betrayed the trust of Delhi, and the whole country, the eyes of which were constantly upon him. The disappointment turned to hate and we coined terms like Farjiwal, Fekriwal, Bhagoda and some of our trademarked Hindi swear words which never cease to evolve every-time they’re mentioned. In more ways than not, justified.

All he asked for this week was forgiveness and another chance. He apologized to the people of Delhi, and India. He conceded his mistake and inexperience. Gave his reasoning, and came out pleading for a chance to make things right.

And what do we do?? We lambaste him on social media, accusing him of dramatics, calling him all sorts of things, talking about flogging him publicly and what not! Not to mention his supporters being called AAP-tards and baboons (which, thankfully, is not racist in India).

Nobody wanted to touch AK before the elections. He came out and blasted the most influential people in India for corruption and money laundering, and nobody had the balls to do anything more than denying and reverse accusing him on the news. But now that BJP has swept off the elections, Nitin Gadkari comes along and files a defamation suit. Amazing things power does to people. [Correction: The case was filed a few months ago. Yet, of all the crimes people can commit, we see sense in filing a case for calling someone ‘corrupt’.]

Kejriwal, sent to judicial custody, refused to pay the bail/bond amount of Rs. 10,000 and said that he’d defend himself in court. Why do we accuse him of being above the law? Any defendant has the right to not pay the bail money. It’s an option, not a law. And he said he’d defend his stand in his court hearing. He’s not answerable to the pedestrian unappreciative masses on social media. Wake up and see sense, people. Hating him won’t get you anything.

Back in 2011, he went to jail for similar charges. Back then, he was just an activist, not a political leader. It was easy to pick on him. He didn’t pay the bail even then. He was seen as a hero back then. Why wasn’t that perceived as above the law? Our very own national hero, Mahatma Gandhi, was sent to jail by the British. He was offered bail for as little as 1 Rupee, but, he still declined.

We reelect criminals to parliament. People with blatant corruption charges, people who have more black money than most people earn legitimately their whole life, rapists, uneducated, worthless ministers. Everyone is forgiven and voted back to parliament.

Why not Arvind Kejriwal? A clean record, a degree from India’s premiere technology institute and so many more qualifications that could bring the more than half of the current parliament to shame… and most of all, clean intentions a good heart.

I don’t expect this article to be received well by most of you. I’m probably just another AAP-tard baboon on your timelines. Your hate for Congress and AAP has blinded you too much to read or hear anything against anyone remotely related to BJP, let alone trying to look at it objectively.

But, to those who see sense like me, I hope you’re in Delhi. Give him another chance. He’s a good man.

India Has Spoken. Your Move, Modi!

Yes, yes, we’ve all heard the news. A mandate nothing short of a landslide which sees the NDA Alliance sweep across the world’s largest democracy in the elections of 2014, with BJP themselves getting more than half the seats in the Indian House of Commons (Lok Sabha). Narendra Modi well on his way to becoming the next Prime Minister of India on the 21st of May.

So Mr. Narendra Modi…

Firstly, Congratulations to you and the BJP. Not a single exit poll analysis across the Indian Media could predict such a clean sweep. The Congress destroyed and the Aam Aadmi Party (AAP) brushed aside like a speck of dust.

Secondly, let me introduce myself. I’m not your biggest fan. I admire your leadership. But I am against the idea of a BJP majority government. As always, I made my opinion clear in public forums resulting in your national bandwagon of supporters calling me a variety of names. You make have heard some of them… like AAP-tard and a few chosen Hindi/English swear words. Some of them you may not have… Like desh-drohi (as if not supporting you and the BJP amounted to betraying the nation), Pakistani (coz, apparently, being Pakistani makes one the enemy of India)… and a few more cuss words.

As much as I like to think of myself as a neutral observer, I will admit that I am an AAP admirer. Kejriwal was a normal guy like me. Living the common man’s life, when he decided to drop everything and take on the most powerful, corrupt, unethical and immoral factions that ruled and ran our country. His message was simple: Honest, clean, people-centric governance. His inexperience cost him, but, I still believe that over the next few governments, he will save India, not you.

Although, as an Indian, I do hope that you do. You’ve been given 5 years and 340 seats of a House of 543.

Mr. Modi, you have been chosen to pull India back from its economic, social and democratic downturn in the last 5-10 years. The absence of a coalition doubles the responsibility and expectations that 800 million voters (not including me) have put in you. You have become a demigod… The Savior. Having said that, you also know that most of your Modi-bandwagon voters are just anti-Congress people who were introduced to the Modi wave at the right time. Remember… we are fickle.

This brings me to the reason I’m writing this post: You talked the talk in your obviously successful election campaign. It’s time for you to walk the walk.

Winning the elections is not your objective. Saving India is. Watch the news. Listen to what the people expect of you in the next 5 years. Development, education, progress, clean and good governance, political transparency, cap in inflation, healthcare, growth… the list goes on. You have made people believe in the ‘India Shining’ dream again. Its time for you to deliver.

Personally, I have never been appealed by the idea of you and your party ruling India. Here’s why:

• I fear that your party’s medieval Hinduist ideologies will take the country backward with its divisive politics
• I do not believe that the so-called Gujarat Model will work for India. Gujarat is a unified state of like-minded people. It’s easy to ban beef and alcohol in Gujarat. You can’t do that in Mumbai, or many other parts. We’re a secular country, not a Hindu country
• Hell, I even believe that the Gujarat development hoopla, on which you have based your entire campaign, is a farce. Some Gujratis tell me that the development you’ve done is only in some pockets and not pan-state. That essentially puts you on level  playing field with any other party ruling any other state.
• Your government will have the same crucial flaw that Dr. Manmohan Singh’s had in this last decade: a Corrupt Cabinet. You may be a dedicated and honest man, but so was MMS. The primary difference being that you’re more vocal than he is. His party and cabinet failed him. Cabinet ministers can still siphon off thousands of crores of Rupees right under your nose. That’s where your true test is.

Having said all this there’s no denying that you have the faith of the people. Not Hindus or Muslims. Not the rich or poor. No castes, no religion, no gender… The whole country has unequivocally put its faith in you. I only ask that you repay it, multiple fold. I’m may be an AAP-tard, but I’m an Indian before anything. I will be happy to concede that I judged you too soon if you can deliver even half of your promises. You will have proven me wrong about you; and India will grow and shine. We will truly rise from a 70-year old potential superpower to an actual global superpower in rightful standing.

Go on Modi. The country is in your hands, now. Set it right. Jai Hind!

M-:o-ther’s Day

4 months of secret-keeping… A couple of insiders for backup… A difficult semester… and 22 hours of travel from the US to India culminating into a successful Mother’s Day surprise!

Although my flight got delayed by an hour and in strict adherence to Murphy’s Laws, my queue for immigration moved the slowest when I joined in AND my luggage took ages to arrive on the belts. Lesson Learnt: A wine induced in-flight power-nap really helps. I finally got a cab and headed off home on the familiar Mumbai roads and landed at the doorstep at roughly 7AM.

As it turns out, the delays didn’t make a difference. There was a party at home the night before and everyone had slept just a few hours ago. So my dad opened the door, stares at me for 2 seconds and says, “Are you crazy?” It was rather insulting. He could’ve shown some disbelief on seeing his son at the doorstep. C’mon, he thought I was halfway across the globe. I just laughed. Typical Dad reaction. He became more cheerful after a few minutes 🙂

My sister knew I was coming. Went to her room. She had half an eye open.

“Hi.”

“Yeah, Hi. Lemme sleep now. Bye.”

Two for two. Actually Three for three.

Went to mom before that. Dad said he’d wake her up instead of my giving her a serious heart attack. So, I went in a few seconds after him.

“Look who turned up.”

*groggy eyes* “Who? (\-|) “

*I walk in*

It takes her a good part of 5 full seconds. But the \-| slowly turns into a :O and then into a 😀 with hands clapped to her cheeks.

Although she was up and moving about, she was in shock for almost 5 hours… Meanwhile, I get mom-made breakfast and watch her prepare my 2 favorite dishes for lunch while complaining about how hot it is in India in a typical ‘Indian returning from US’ style. Somewhere close to noon, she finally says, “So, I guess it really is you.”

Mission Accomplished. Happy Mother’s Day. 🙂

Slap, Slap, Slap and the Rapist Who Made a Mistake

Ever wondered what’s wrong with our country??

India… The World’s largest democracy the perennial ‘potential’ global superpower? I’m sure you have. We all have… atleast once in the last few years. Everytime some incident happens- rape, terror attacks, communal riots, etc. we either curse some obvious targets and watch Arnab boss over his panelists on a thoroughly (un)biased debate on Times Now and/or go “iss desh ka kuch nahi hoga“.

This past week, we got our answer.

Incident 1:

Yuvraj Singh scores 11 off 21 balls in a World T20 Final and is singularly charged for India’s defeat to Sri Lanka. The general public curses him and his family to hell, pelts stones at his house, accuses him of performing only in IPL coz he gets a bumper paycheck there and disgraced bald ex-cricketers call for his retirement on sub-standard news channels since, they have nothing better to do in life.

Incident 2:

Political revolutionary and Aam Aadmi Party chief, Arvind Kejriwal is slapped (yes, again) in public by a disappointed supporter and that slapper gets thrashed himself. Meanwhile, Kejriwal sends out a tweet urging non-violent conduct.

Incident 3:

SP Chief and former Chief Minister of Uttar Pradesh, Mulayam Singh Yadav, shows that his Masters’ degree in political science is worth a hoot by coming out in defense of rapists… “Boys will be Boys. They Make mistakes. Why should we hang them?”

(Yes, he used these words. He used these words.

Yes, he used these words. He used these words.)

Sorry, couldn’t resist the Arnab rap reference. 😛

And guess what. His punishment was to be subjected to the biggest cliches in the history of politically correct opposition in democratic India – condemnation, public outrage and the Women’s wing’s demand for an apology.

*slow clap* well done, India. Well friggin’ done.

1. The man who single-handedly won us 2 World Cups, fought Cancer and earned his way back into the most competitive international cricket team in the world plays one bad innings and we go and damage his house. Some even went so far as to say that he should’ve died of cancer than come back and play such an innings. Pathetic. From a God to the Devil in 21 deliveries.
2. The man who started a wave of political revolution in India; a man with a pure heart and clean intentions who is responsible for half the political awareness among young India today slapped and his face blackened in public because some random douchebag didn’t like something he did.
3. But, the man who comes out and supports rapists as if they were 5 year olds who broke a toy only gets public outcry, condemnation and the prime airtime on the evening news. And ultimately, him and his son will be elected to run UP for the next 5 years because the multitude of senile people in that state will themselves vote him back to power, and the rest of the country will go back to work the next morning.

And there’s your answer. That’s what’s wrong with this country and that’s also exactly why iss desh ka kabhi kuch nahi hoga.

Educate the masses. Teach them sense and rationality. Then, a generation or 2 down the road, there could be hope for us.

Jai Hind!

India: Caught Offside

In the early 21st century, for the first time ever, Indian kids have had an option of choosing their favorite sport. Till the ’90s cricket was the sole sporting religion in India. Yeah, you could say hockey is the national sport and blah and blah but nothing ever beat the buzz of a crunch cricket match.

 

With the advent of televised football all-year round, starting with the English Premier League, followed by the Bundesliga, Serie A and most recently, the Spanish La Liga sport enthusiasts have found a new first love… so much that any kid around the age of 15 would rather spend a few grand on his favorite football team’s jersey than on a Team India jersey. It was the same case with me. Around 10 years ago, I was all cricket. But then came the English Premier League. The rest, as they say, is history. As of today… football trumps cricket, everyday.

 

Let me tell you why…

 

Firstly, football is a continuous game. The only boring stoppages in a game are for goal kicks and throw-ins. Others like goals, free-kicks, corners, etc. arouse a sense of excitement. 90 minutes divided into 2 action packed halves of 45 minutes each (well, unless you’re watching the Serie A or La Liga, save their main derby games). Time flies by and its barely 2 hours spent per match. Also, there’s a very distinct factor of unpredictability in football. You can never know when a goal will be scored, or when a harsh tackle or a referee howler will flip the game on its head.

 

One-Day cricket on the other hand, is a 100 over game split into 50 over innings which last roughly 3 hours each at an average of 14 overs an hour. Yes, its exciting at times, but, I can’t help snooze off between an innings. Its painful to watch a bowler make a run up, bowl the delivery, watch the batsman play and wait the bowler take a slow painful walk back to his run-up starting point only to repeat it 50 X 6 = 300 times in an innings and 600 times in a standard ODI, not counting extras. Given that we still play Ashish Nehra from time to time, its a crucial factor.

 

Moreover, the game lasts 6 and a half to 7 hours on an average. Either you spend 6 hours watching the same thing over and over again or you watch part of the match which is just as pointless.

 

Secondly, football is a club-dominated game rather than nation-dominated. Club football takes precedence… always. The point is that with Top Tier National leagues, national knock-out cup tourneys and European Championships, every weekend is new. Your favorite club will rarely play the same opponent twice in the same month, or even quarter of a year. Unless, of course its the last knock-out stages of the European cups which showcase nothing but the very best clubs on both ends of the pitch. So no complaints there.

 

Plus, there are transfers that see players moving from one club to another in the blink of an eye. One moment, he’s your favorite player, the next day he plays for another club, possibly a fierce rival. *oooh, Robin van Persie!! ;)*Its that sort of thing that gives you the kick (pun intended).

 

Contrarily, cricket is a nation dominated sport. National teams battle it out against other countries in long, sometimes over-stretched series’ against the same nation (Remember India vs. Sri Lanka last year? THAT!). You might have an occasional tri-series but nothing too exciting until the world cup. I’m sorry, but, I’m not going to spend 6 hours each on a 7 match ODI series of India against the same set of 11 players for 3 months. How much more monotonous can it get?? Clean bold!

 

And Sachin has retired, too. *silent tear*

 

Although it would be wrong to suggest that football has taken over from cricket as the primary fanatic sport of India, among the urban sections of the society, a high octane football match brings a bigger buzz than the climax of a long ODI series.

 

Having said that, I must add that an Indian kid’s passion for his country’s cricket team knows no bounds during big international tournaments like the World Cup and Champions Trophy. I cite this from personal experience… I am not a big cricket follower but I was proud to lose my voice cheering Team India on to a memorable victory vs. Australia at the Motera Stadium in Quarter Final of the 2011 World Cup.

 

Yeah, I love football. A lot!

But its always Team India time during the World Cup.

---